The Time Triage Trick That Changed Everything
- Vikki da Rocha
- Jul 18
- 3 min read
Dear lovely human,
It’s the second week of school holidays here in Sydney, which means the juggle is alive and well. One minute I’m replying to emails, the next I’m playing snack bar attendant or deep in a Lego saga that would have even the most dramatic soapie gasping! And somewhere in there, I’m trying to remember what day it is.
Yesterday, my five-year-old burst into tears because her squishy ball popped.
She’d been holding it for two hours straight. Gripping it tightly in her little hands until the pressure built up and it gave way, leaking slowly, deflating in her lap. It was her favourite one, of course. And I don’t know if it was the timing, the tears, or the fact that I was also holding a million things at once, but I felt it. Like... really felt it.
Because I get it.
I know what it’s like to hold everything so tightly that you start to lose your shape. To smile and say, “I’ve got it,” when really bits of you are leaking out quietly in the form of snappy words, heavy sighs, evil glances at your partner, or that ever-growing feeling of resentment of life you don’t want to admit.
We’ve done big, full-on seasons before. Packing up houses. Moving. Hitting the road for a year in the caravan. Unpacking and setting up again before school starts. Those were full times, no doubt about it, but they had purpose, and we focused on what mattered. We got through because we were in it together.
It’s the general days, the ones where life is just ticking along, that sometimes feel the most chaotic, and I think I’m starting to understand why.
It’s not about how much we’re doing.
It’s about how much we think we should be doing.
We’re carrying expectations on every front, trying to be present, productive, organised, calm, nourishing, supportive, ambitious, patient, healthy, grateful, the list goes on, and I am sure I have missed a few. We overcompensate by saying yes to everything. Until eventually, like the squishy ball, we lose our colour and burst.
I have a favourite TED talk which I would like to share with you by Dr Darria Long, an ER doctor, who said something about time triage that’s stayed with me ever since the first time I watched it:
“In the ER, we don’t say we’re busy. We triage. We prioritise. We act.”
She doesn’t allow her staff to use the phrase “crazy busy” because busy is a trap. It doesn’t move you forward. It just keeps you spinning.
What she does instead is ask the question we should all be asking:
What’s urgent, and what’s not?
And it made me wonder what if we treated our time more like an ER shift? What if we used a Time Triage approach?
Not dramatic or panicked, but clear. Focused. Unapologetic.
What’s vital today?
What can wait?
What’s not mine to carry?
That mindset shift alone can make all the difference, because if everything is important, nothing really is.
There’s a metaphor I often come back to, and maybe it will land for you today:
Imagine your time is a wardrobe.
At the moment, it’s likely crammed.
Old outfits that don’t fit.
Items you’re keeping out of guilt.
Things you wore years ago that you know don’t suit you anymore.
And yet, each morning, you open that wardrobe and reach for something… anything… in a rush because there’s no space to breathe. No clarity. No room for deciding or thinking. And so you end up grabbing the same thing over and over again.
That’s what most of us are doing with our time.
We’re grabbing at scraps instead of dressing with intention.
So maybe it’s time for a clear-out.
Not your whole life.
Just one corner of it.
Try this:
Decide. Delete. Delay.
(Dr. Darria’s words, not mine, but I’ve borrowed them permanently.)
Decide what truly matters today.
Delete what’s just noise, guilt or “shoulds”.
Delay what can wait till next week, or never.
Pair it with these simple habits that help me daily:
90-minute focus blocks
“No work after dinner” boundaries
Solo morning walks without my phone
Asking: “If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”
Here is my invitation to you this week…
Try triaging just one day.
Even just one hour.
Declutter the time wardrobe.
Let go of one ‘should.’
Say yes to one moment that matters.
Because you deserve more than just holding it all together.
I’m trying it too, right alongside you.
With love,
Vikki
