Anxiety, Playgrounds, and the Higher Purpose of Fear

Dear lovely humans,

There has been an interesting feeling around. I hear many describe it as "let's just get through this", while others feel a sense of the unknown, the question of "what will ever happen next?" tends to be the tone.

There's an increase in people feeling stressed, anxious, fearful, nervous, and even apprehensive about what the future holds. I've been working closely with clients to explore the deeper meaning behind these emotions. Often with the request to help them remove these feelings of nervousness, apprehension, stress, anxiety, fearfulness and understandably so. They don't exactly scream unicorns and rainbows, do they?

Here's where it gets interesting. You might have heard this before, but these emotions often manifest in our bodies in a similar way to exhilaration and excitement, with a flutter, adrenaline pumping, and the heart beating a little faster. The only difference? We've decided to think about them differently. One is "good", the other "bad".

Now, when you understand the hierarchy of negative emotions, the umbrella emotion for anxiousness, apprehension, nervousness, panic, and overwhelm is FEAR. The flight response was to warn us, to help us take notice.

So, it wouldn't be right for me to "remove" them from my clients now, would it? We need this 'take notice' emotion to keep us safe.

And that's just it. The whole purpose of these emotions, encompassed under the umbrella of FEAR, was to help us become more aware of the things around us, such as when to protect ourselves from a thunderstorm, watch out for a bus, avoid eating a poisonous berry, and not to pet a crocodile.

Over the years, though, we replaced the word FEAR with "stressed out", "nervous", "anxious", and "overwhelmed". At any moment in our lives, from speaking in public at school to our first dance, first interview, first fight, first real job, and first mortgage, we've linked milestone events to these emotions and forgotten what the original purpose was.

FEAR keeps us aware of our surroundings. It is not meant to stress us out or live our daily lives in obsessive anxiety. It's there to help us take notice. And this is precisely what I do with clients: we take all the misinformation aligned with FEAR and return it to its original sole purpose: to help us be more aware.

I never fully understood this until I saw my fear transform into its higher purpose of awareness a few years ago, and I would like to share my story.

Years ago, I recall watching soap operas and seeing the anxious, fearful looks as the scene panned out, the woman clutching her pearls in a dramatic close-up, her eyes wide with fear, anxiety, and overwhelm. They knew how to drum it up!

It surprised me when mine was a little stealthier and quieter in its appearance.

It crept in silently at night when all I wanted to do was sleep, dressed in urgent questions that demanded answers. "What now?" questions flooded my head at 4 am. FEAR showed itself when I looked around and thought: "I should be doing more." It quietly sneaked in even when I had a moment to rest, or the thought "I don't have much to do now" stirred up panic inside.

I remember the first few weeks after we packed up our house and took off on our first leg of this adventure around Australia, six weeks in a tent. It was stressful: packing, planning, moving, and storage units. Never had I spent six weeks in a tent; dread filled me, mixed with excitement (you see, the same feeling, just a different take). I had planned Instagram moments of freedom and feeling liberated from life's norms.

But instead, I felt... out of sorts.

No schedule. No meetings. No endless to-do list. No panicking.

Just open roads, sunny days, and time to play, and a part of me didn't know what to do with that.

I kept asking Jorge, "What's next? What now?" I kept checking to see what our travel plans were, what emails I needed to attend to, and what schedule I needed to stick to for Amelia.

My identity had been tied to being busy, overwhelmed, and stretched. Without all that rushing around, I felt lost. I had been living in anxiousness and fear, and that anxious feeling didn't know where to go in my body anymore.

It took time, months actually, to understand what was happening.

To realise this wasn't a breakdown. I wasn't going completely crazy.

I simply didn't know how to feel this feeling.

And over time, I began to recognise it.

All the fear, anxiousness, stress and nervousness wasn't a bad thing to run from or push down.

It was just trying to tell me to stop.

To notice.

To be aware of what was important and what required my focus.

I sat in this discomfort for about four weeks while camping.

I had to ask this feeling what it meant, why it was there, and what I needed to do with it.

Eventually, I realised all it was asking for was my presence. To slow down. To notice what matters, what really matters in my life. And to recognise that what I had been deeming necessary wasn't as important as I'd made it out to be (not the life-or-death kind).

And I still remember when it all clicked into place.

We were somewhere between the NT and QLD border, staying at a basic caravan stop after hours of driving. As always, we set up quickly and headed into the tiny village in search of a playground and the info kiosk. It had become our quirky little ritual.

I was aware that Amelia had been sitting in the car for hours and that we needed to get out and about, running around, connecting, and being in the fresh air, away from the car and the caravan. So, I dropped the to-do lists and focused on what was more important. Us.

Back at the site, a young family arrived. Two kids about Amelia's age.

The mum looked frazzled. I saw her trying to get them fed, into bed, snap a perfect sunset photo with the large painted water tanks, grab a glass of wine and do it all. Poor thing was not enjoying life.

The next morning, she saw Jorge packing up and asked, in that half-joking, half-desperate way,

"How do you do it? You're so calm; your daughter's settled. We didn't hear her once."

Jorge asked:

"How long have you been travelling for?"

"We've only just started two weeks in, and we've got a whole year ahead. I'm not sure if I can do it! What am I missing here?"

Jorge smiled gently and said:

"We've been doing this for 10 months now. Lean into this. It's not Instagram. You're all on a new journey, not just you but the kids, too. Learn to love the playgrounds. Ease off the schedule and expectations. Remember, you're all learning this new way of living. Focus on your unique family experience; that's what matters. And yes, it does get better. And you've got this."

It wasn't just good travel advice.

It was the message anxiety had been trying to send all along to me and this poor woman.

I didn't realise I had found my awareness until I saw her and felt for her.

That's when I knew it had shifted inside me.

Because fear, overwhelm, and stress, they're not flaws.

They're signals. Ancient in-built messengers trying to say:

Stop. Adjust. Notice. Become aware of what really matters.

Even now, back in a home with school schedules and to-do lists, I find myself remembering this moment and recognising that the overwhelm or anxiousness is just my body's way of saying:

"Hey, remember what matters!"

And I've noticed this throughout the week while coaching clients.

Whenever we start reframing our emotions, not hiding them or pretending to be happy, but actually looking at what this emotion is trying to tell us, it becomes a life-changing practice.

Reframing invites us to ask deeper questions.

Not to bypass our feelings but to understand them.

Instead of:

"Why am I like this?"

We can ask:

"What might this feeling be trying to protect me from?"

"What do I need right now?"

"What's the bigger picture I need to see?"

Because the truth is, most of our anxiety in today's modern world isn't about pure survival.

It's about belonging.

Identity.

Meaning.

Purpose.

That's what we're genuinely searching for, disguised as anxiousness, overwhelm, and stress.

And when I work with clients on understanding their fear, it's so often linked to not feeling purposeful anymore. Not knowing their place.

Losing the thread of who they are or why they do the work they do.

When we pause and ask better questions, anxiety reveals what it always meant to show us:

Awareness.

Awareness of what's important.

Awareness of what's bothering us.

Awareness of what to stop focusing on.

Awareness of how we're really feeling.

And here's the clincher:

Once you're aware, you can take action with it.

Something that supports you.

Something that moves you out of survival and into something more conscious, more empowered, more you.

So, if you're feeling unsettled or caught in the loop of "What now?" or "Am I doing enough?"

Pause.

Reframe.

Ask:

Is this really a moment of survival, or is it just a time to become aware of something?

And remember, if you give yourself even a second, you might notice that your body isn't trying to sabotage you. It's just inviting you into something more profound.

A little more presence.

A little more compassion.

A whole lot more awareness.

With love,

Vikki x

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