Your Body Is Not Betraying You. It’s Begging You to Listen.
- Vikki da Rocha
- Apr 8
- 5 min read
Have you ever noticed how your body seems to wait for the break to fall apart?
You push through for weeks, holding everything together, ticking the lists, making the plans, packing the bags, and just as the rest finally arrives, your throat tightens, your head pounds, and your body crashes. Hello, cold, flu, migraine, exhaustion.
I used to think it was just bad timing. But the more I've learned about the mind-body connection, the more I see this pattern differently. Our bodies don't lie. They're not trying to sabotage us; they're trying to speak to us. And it may be time to listen to your body.
Stress doesn't live just in your thoughts. It lives in your cells, runs through your hormones, and is felt by your nervous system. It can even be subtly and profoundly passed on to those around you and the next generation.
Dr Gabor Maté, whose work around Trauma and illness has reshaped so much of how I think and coach, says it clearly: "Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you." And when that inner experience isn't acknowledged, it doesn't disappear. It stores itself in the body.
My mum was born in England during the Second World War. She would share stories of her auntie rushing her down into the underground as the sirens screamed overhead, warning of bombs. Even as a baby, that fear and uncertainty… it was felt. Absorbed. Carried. I see now how that energy shaped so much of her life. And unknowingly, mine, too.
When I revisited my own timeline through the powerful lens of NLP and Matrix Therapies, the incredible work created by Pip McKay, I could finally name it: I was running a pattern of scarcity and uncertainty.
I always had to know what was next. I needed everything planned, sorted, prepared. Safety lived in structure. Even when my mum was in hospital in her final days, days we didn't know would be her last, I rushed home to paint the bathroom and tidy the house, getting it 'ready' for her to come and stay with us. I couldn't bear the unknown. My body shook with energy, trying to find certainty in the chaos. And then… I crashed. Deep sleep. Silence. Numbness.
Looking back, I wasn't just reacting to that moment. I was carrying generations of reactions. Trauma that wasn't mine but lived through me, just like Dr Maté describes. But here's the truth: Trauma may come through us, but healing can, too. It was only through this work with my coach (and now the work that I offer my clients) that I was able to release those inherited patterns. In one of the most significant healing moments, my mum told me: "You can fly now. You can trust. You have everything you need." And something inside me shifted. The old trauma line ended with me.
But healing is rarely a straight line.
Just the other day, walking through the school gates after drop-off, I heard at least three parents say the same thing in different ways:
"I just can't shake this cough."
"I've been dragging this tiredness for weeks."
I've gotten used to feeling run-down.
Sometimes, we even wear it as a badge of honour. (Hands up if you are with me.) We just carry on, don't we? No matter how sick or drained, just keep going. Keep doing. Don't stop. I've been guilty of this, too. I've caught myself pushing through when my body clearly asked me to pause, ignoring the signs and overriding the message.
But recently, I've started asking: What story do I believe here?
Is it the fear that I'll fall too far behind if I stop?
What if I take time off, I won't be needed?
If I rest, will I be seen as weak, lazy, or insufficient?
And deeper still, could this be the same story of scarcity and uncertainty, just dressed up in modern motherhood? (that one stung when I thought about it!)
What if the tiredness, the tickle, the constant low-grade ache in your chest… isn't just physical? What if your body tells you to recognise the narrative you've inherited or absorbed? The one that says:
You don't get to rest until it's all done.
Everyone else comes first.
If you stop, you'll lose your place.
And if that's the story… Is it actually true? Is it serving you?
Would you want your daughter, best friend, and younger self to live by it?
What would happen if, just for a moment, you believed a different story?
One where rest makes you stronger.
One where your body doesn't have to scream to be heard.
One where your worth isn't tied to your output.
Because here's what I've come to believe:
When we challenge the old stories, we change how our bodies respond; that's where the healing begins.
So, if you're heading into the holidays feeling exhausted, on edge, or already sensing that crash coming… I want to leave you with this:
1. Your thoughts have a physical impact.
Your nervous system listens to your mind. Mental clutter creates physical tension. Speak to yourself kindly, calmly, and truthfully, as you would to someone you love.
2. Your body keeps the score.
As Dr Gabor Maté says, the body is often the first to tell the truth. Notice when symptoms flare. Is it always at the end of the term? On holidays? When things slow down? That's your body revealing the pressure you've been carrying.
3. Rest is not optional.
Build in real rest before your body demands it. That's mental and emotional rest, not just naps or Netflix. I mean moments of no performing, no pretending, just being.
Let me be really clear: Rest isn't about luxury. It doesn't have to mean a three-hour massage, a silent retreat, or spending thousands of dollars. We've been sold the story that rest has to be big, curated, and bought, but the truth is that the most potent forms of rest are often the simplest.
Rest is… A walk without your phone.
Sitting still with a hot coffee in both hands.
Letting your shoulders drop for no reason.
Smiling at the sun (my favourite).
Breathing without rushing on to the next thing.
Real rest is about presence, not price, and when we start giving ourselves small pockets of that presence every day, our bodies don't need to crash just to get our attention.
The mind-body connection is not woo-woo. It's biology, and when we honour it, we protect not just our own energy but also the energy of our home, our relationships, and our kids. Take care of your mind, and your body will thank you.
With love,
Vikki x
