Be the Cause of Your Success, Not the Effect of Your Circumstances

Dear Friends,

There's something about November that possesses its own unique intensity. The year begins to gather speed, deadlines multiply, the inbox feels heavier, and our energy begins to scatter in a thousand directions. Everywhere you look, people are moving quickly, wrapping up projects, preparing for holidays, closing off the year while quietly wondering how we got here so fast. I've noticed it in myself as well.

Over the past few weeks, I've found myself in a countdown mode. Ensuring everything is ready for our time off, that the social content is planned, scheduled, and beautifully aligned, and that we are set up for a smooth break and a strong start to 2026. There's a rhythm to this preparation that's familiar, a drive to get everything perfect before the pause. Somewhere in the middle of all this movement, I caught myself feeling something that didn't feel quite right. It was that creeping sense that the world was rushing past me, that I was hanging onto the edge of it, that I had somehow lost my say in how things were unfolding. Everything felt urgent. Everything felt like too much.

Sound familiar?

When I'm in that space, I know exactly what's happened; I've slipped into what, in NLP, we call effect. It's the state where life feels like it's happening to us rather than through us. When we're in effect, we become the passenger, not the driver.

It shows up subtly at first, through language like "I just need to get through this week," "There's never enough time," or "No one understands how much I'm carrying." It's not laziness or a lack of motivation; it's simply the nervous system doing what it does best, trying to protect us. However, in that protection, we lose our presence, and presence is the foundation of choice.

I often see it, especially this time of year, the shift from conscious momentum to unconscious motion. We start reacting instead of responding, explaining instead of exploring, blaming instead of breathing. That's precisely where I found myself recently, staring at my laptop, running out of time, hoping for inspiration, and feeling the panic rise as the to-do list got longer. None of it helped, of course. It didn't help me with my social campaigns or move the business forward. It simply kept me locked in the swirl.

It was in that moment that I remembered something Brené Brown once shared about a conversation with her coach. She said, "When you're above the line and in fear, you can name it, and that helps you make good decisions. But when you're below the line, fear is driving you." That landed deeply, because that's exactly what being at effect feels like, being driven by fear. Fear of falling behind, fear of not getting it right, fear that everything will fall apart if we stop for even a second.

Below the line, fear runs the show, manifesting through three familiar characters that NLP refers to as the drama triangle. There's the Hero, who insists, "I'll just do it all myself," wearing exhaustion like a badge of honour. Then comes the Villain, who says, "I don't care what people think," and hides vulnerability behind armour. And finally, the Victim, whispering, "Nobody understands me," waiting for someone else to make it better. Each role is a defence mechanism, a way of protecting ourselves from discomfort. Still, they all keep us stuck below the line, reacting to life instead of shaping it.

When I noticed myself there, caught in that familiar pattern of rushing and resentment, I paused and asked a straightforward question: "Where am I right now?" The answer was clear. I was in effect. I was blaming the calendar, the deadlines, the pace of the world. I was giving away my power by pretending I didn't have a choice, and that's the beauty of NLP. Awareness brings you back to the cause of your success, because once we have awareness, we have the freedom to choose again.

So, I asked myself instead: "What do I want to do? What would make the difference? What will shift the outcome?" and in that instant, something softened. My breathing slowed, my shoulders dropped, and I could think again. Awareness brought me back to the cause, the place where I can respond consciously, not react automatically. From there, I could see the next small steps, the opportunities, the solutions. I could re-engage with the work from a calm rather than chaotic state and actually get things done.

When we're at cause, fear doesn't vanish, but it stops driving. We step above the line. We name what's there and choose how to meet it. Above the line, the energy is different; it's grounded, deliberate, and creative. Instead of reacting out of fear, we lead from awareness, and when we do, three powerful ways of engaging emerge.

We move into Coaching, where curiosity replaces control: "Let's do this together."

We shift into Co-creating, where partnership replaces pressure: "Can we figure this out together?" and we practice Challenging productively, where courage replaces criticism: "Here's what I'm noticing; can we look at this honestly?"

This is what being at cause looks like in action. It's not about perfection, it's about presence. It's the difference between being swept up in the season and leading yourself through it consciously. It's about taking ownership of how you show up, even when the world feels fast.

As we head into the last few weeks of November and into December, I invite you to pay attention to your own language. Catch yourself in those little moments when you say, "I have to," "They made me," "It's all too much." Pause for a moment and ask, "Am I above or below the line right now?" That question alone is powerful enough to shift you from reaction to response, from panic to possibility.

Because when we live at cause, life no longer happens to us, it happens through us. We don't just survive the season; we experience it with intention.

So this week, when the world starts to spin a little faster, take a breath. Remember that you are not at the mercy of your circumstances. You have a choice in your words, in your emotions, in your state.

If reading this stirs something in you, that quiet knowing that it's time to stop reacting and start choosing differently, then 2026 is the year to take this work deeper. NLP isn't just a theory; it's a way of living and leading with awareness. It's how we move from patterns to purpose, from pressure to presence.

Our 2026 NLP Certification Training is now open for enrollment, and it's designed for individuals who want to understand their own patterns, elevate their communication, and create lasting change. If you've ever wanted to lead yourself and others with more clarity, confidence, and calm, this is where it begins.

You can find all the details and register your interest through Momentum Growth Coaching. Because real success isn't about controlling every circumstance. It's about knowing how to stay conscious within them.

Be the cause of your success, not the effect of your circumstances. That's where genuine leadership begins and where calm, clarity, and creativity find their way back in.

With love,

Vikki

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In this blog, I've shared just a glimpse of a few NLP concepts and techniques. If this sparks your curiosity and you'd like to explore more, or even consider becoming an NLP Practitioner yourself, we'd be delighted to welcome you to our in-person NLP certification training. Our next sessions are scheduled to run in Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane in 2026. We'd love to see you at one of these NLP training sessions.

Click here to learn more about our NLP Certification Training and secure your place.

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