The Haunted Mind: When Old Stories Come Knocking

Dear lovely humans,

Have you ever noticed how some thoughts come back like ghosts? They drift in quietly at first, a whisper of doubt, a flicker of fear, until suddenly, they’re front and centre, convincing you they’ve been here all along.

They’re not the kind of ghosts that rattle chains or slam doors. They’re the quieter kind, the ones that speak in familiar voices.

• “You must hold it all together”

• “You must be perfect or else you failed”

• “You’re not ready.”

• “You’ll mess it up again.”

• “Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

They don’t come to haunt you for fun; they come because they’ve been left unfinished.

A few weeks ago, as I was preparing to teach NLP again, the haunted mind made its presence known. My ghosts arrived thick and fast. I know this work. I love this work. But there they were, not the friendly Casper kind from childhood movies, but the ones that make your stomach drop and your skin prickle.

They whispered as I planned my slides, “What if you forget something?”

They leaned in as I practised, “What if you get it wrong?“ and by the time we were packing the car for Melbourne, I was in a full-blown haunt of my own making.

Eight hours on the road, family in tow, snacks everywhere, and me sitting in a swirl of overthinking, determined to get it right. Somewhere between Albury and Melbourne, I realised what was happening. It wasn’t about preparation anymore. It was about perfection, that old ghost trying to keep me safe from judgment.

That’s the thing about our haunted minds: the ghosts arrive right when we’re about to grow. They show up at the edge of expansion, pretending to protect us, when in truth, they’re just scared of what comes next.

On day one of every NLP training, I draw a simple visual on the whiteboard. First, a box, “This is where you are now,” I tell the group. It’s familiar, comfortable, and safe. Then I draw a second box around it, a stretch zone. “This,” I explain, “is where fear, uncertainty, and resistance live. It’s the unknown. The part that feels wobbly and uncomfortable.” And then, I shade a tiny space just beyond that second box, not even a full centimetre away, and write three words: freedom, empowerment, growth.

That’s how close it is, just beyond fear.

But here’s the catch: to reach it, we have to walk through the haunted house of our own mind, past the old ghosts of self-doubt, perfectionism, and overthinking and through what I call our ghostly labels.

Those invisible statements, beliefs, and thoughts we attach to ourselves, often without even realising it.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I always mess things up.”

“I’m not as confident as they are.”

These ghostly labels are influential because they shape how we see ourselves. They influence what we say yes to, what we walk away from, and how we handle uncertainty. NLP helps us bring them into the light so we can question whether they’re still true or were never ours to begin with.

The perfectionist says, “I want to keep you safe from failure.”

The people-pleaser says, “I don’t want you to lose love.”

The overthinker says, “If we plan enough, nothing can go wrong.”

And the self-doubter whispers, “Maybe if we stay small, we won’t be hurt again.”

They mean well. But they’ve forgotten the truth: we’re not that small anymore.

When we meet these ghosts with compassion instead of fear, something remarkable happens. They begin to lose their grip. Their power fades in the light of awareness.

By the time I arrived in Melbourne, I’d decided to stop fighting the ghosts and start listening. I reminded myself that the only thing that truly mattered wasn’t getting it right, but showing up real, messy, passionate and most certainly human. When I did, the ghosts fell quiet.

That’s the real magic of NLP: learning to listen to what the unconscious mind is trying to say and reframing the story, so it supports rather than sabotages us.

So, if one of your ghosts or ghostly labels comes knocking this week, maybe when you’re leading a meeting, setting a boundary, or daring to rest, pause and ask:

What is this fear protecting me from? What might it look like if I didn’t need protecting anymore? Do I even need this kind of protection, or can I let it go?

Because Halloween might be about the masks we wear for fun, but NLP helps us take off the ones we didn’t know we were still wearing.

And that, my friends, is the most liberating kind of unmasking there is.

With warmth (and a little witchy wisdom),

Vikki

Momentum Growth Coaching, NLP that helps you see the story behind the spell (lol).

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In this blog, I've shared just a glimpse of a few NLP concepts and techniques. If this sparks your curiosity and you'd like to explore more, or even consider becoming an NLP Practitioner yourself, we'd be delighted to welcome you to our in-person NLP certification training. Our next sessions are scheduled to run in Sydney in November and December 2025.

Click here to learn more about our NLP Certification Training and secure your place.

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