Have you ever noticed how some thoughts come back like ghosts? They drift in quietly at first, a whisper of doubt, a flicker of fear, until suddenly, they’re front and centre, convincing you they’ve been here all along. They’re not the kind of ghosts that rattle chains or slam doors. They’re the quieter kind, the ones that speak in familiar voices.

I was a pragmatist at heart, the kind of person who got things done and didn't stop until the job was finished. On paper, it sounded great: dependable, calm, organised, and consistent. The light side of those traits was stability and reliability. The shadow side told a different story. Beneath the calm was anxiety. Beneath the order, control. I was risk-averse, overloaded, and, truth be told, a bit of a people pleaser.

Most of us say we want healthy boundaries. But often, what we're actually building is a defence, a line in the sand drawn in frustration, not clarity. We say things like I'm not working late anymore, or I'm done with people taking advantage of me, but those lines rarely hold. Not because we're weak, but because the boundary was built to block, not to serve.

Who’s having endless discussions about AI and the future of our tasks, our jobs, our workforce, heck, our humanity?!?! Will AI replace me? Is AI a faster, smarter, better-looking, and more articulate version of me?

This week, I found myself, quite literally, covered in mud. I'd spent the day in the garden, laying stones, clearing tiles, digging out weeds, and finally laying fresh mulch. It was hard work, but when I stood back and saw the transformation, it was magic. The grime of winter washed away, green shoots ready to bloom, the quiet promise of spring in every corner.

With the end of the year approaching, how many of you have slipped into "panic work" mode? Working late, dropping boundaries, telling yourself you'll just "get a bit more done", but actually achieving less. I've been noticing how often I hear people say, "I can't believe it's already September, we're in the last quarter." I've even caught myself saying it. At first, it feels harmless, but here's the truth: those small words start to wire the brain into panic. Suddenly, time f

Over the past few weeks, I've been discussing our beautiful brain's filtering system extensively. At a recent corporate workshop, we had the privilege of coaching a leadership team on what's really happening beneath the surface of their everyday communication. While many of them had attended training sessions before, something clicked this time, because we weren't just discussing what they were doing, but why their brains were doing it in the first place. Which, let's be hone

There's a moment that has stayed with one of my clients, and, in truth, it echoes in the lives of many of the people I've worked with. She was about ten. Dressed in sequins and nerves, ready to perform her part in a school dance. The music began, and she missed a step. Just a beat, nothing more, but in that moment, from the back of the room, came a sharp voice, a family member's offhand comment, wrapped in frustration: "Honestly, you're so clumsy. Can't you get anything ri

A couple of weeks ago, something happened to me. I sat at my desk staring at the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard but not typing, not really doing anything. I felt physically stuck, my body wouldn’t move, my head was spinning, thoughts racing like they were chasing each other in circles: “I can’t do this. I’m not good enough. I’m so tired. I should know better. I don’t look great. I don’t feel great. I am failing at everything”

Focusing on what we do not want is an avoidance tactic. It is comfortable because it does not require much of us. We do not have to imagine anything new or stretch ourselves. We simply point to what exists (or what we fear might happen) and reject it.

Fifty weeks of showing up to the page and myself. Fifty weeks (fifty lessons) of sharing the tangled thoughts, hidden fears, messy contradictions, and quiet revelations that come with being a woman, a mother, a partner, a coach, and most of all… a human.

So, when did the innocence of our internal language shift? When did it go from cuddles, milk, fairies, and pretend lands to: Am I good enough? Why don’t they like me? How could I have been so stupid? They know I didn’t know the answer, now I feel terrible… Come on, don’t be so lazy

Confidence. What is it, really? Is it that magical fairy dust you spot in people who can talk to strangers, light up a room, make everyone laugh, and own a dinner table in seconds? Or is it the quieter kind?

So here I am, writing about how our past shapes our current or old identities and how to break away and rediscover your true identity.

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