The Quiet Power of Confidence

Confidence: What is it, really?

Is it that magical fairy dust you spot in people who can talk to strangers, light up a room, make everyone laugh, and own a dinner table in seconds?

Or is it the quieter kind? Steady, present, deeply connecting in small moments with anyone who wants to share their company? Or is it in the way someone holds space without needing to perform?

Sometimes, it's just about showing up as you are, not how you think you're supposed to be.

It's both. And maybe a few things in between.

The Reflection on Confidence

This week, I found myself reflecting on the power of confidence in a way I hadn't expected. It all began with one conversation I had with my daughter's teacher.

A few weeks ago, during a parent-teacher meeting, Amelia's teacher provided some feedback:

"In groups, Amelia needs to show more confidence and speak up."

I sat with those words for a while. What did she mean? I see my daughter singing, chatting, and making jokes at home all the time; what was I missing?

Then, the teacher's follow-up echoed in my mind:

"I want Amelia to show me her confidence and to speak up because I know she has the answers."

It made me wonder: Is confidence really something we can see? Or is it just an abstract idea filtered through someone else's perception of what it "should" look like?

Understanding My Own Confidence

I started to think about my own version of confidence and how often it has looked quite different from what people might expect on the outside.

I've heard Jorge describe me as someone who can speak to anyone, strike up conversations, and make people laugh. However, I have often felt deeply shy, unsure, and even weary in those moments.

Why?

Because that inner voice can be so loud sometimes: the one that says, "You're not ready," "You don't know enough," "They won't get you." I have to consciously face it, clear it, and remind myself: This isn't real. You know better. Just be yourself.

Where Confidence Begins

I think this is where real confidence begins: Knowing yourself, your values, and how you want to show up. Confidence doesn't have to look or sound like the version you've admired in others or seen in movies. It shows up as you.

This Easter, we spent time at a beautiful farm outside Melbourne. An incredible family hosted us, sharing meals, playing games, and walking long trails together.

It was beautiful, not just because of the place but also because of the people. As the days unfolded, I observed those around me: the quiet confidence of deep conversations, the bright energy of the storyteller who made us laugh until we cried, and the soft-spoken wisdom shared over morning coffee. I realized each of us brought our own style of confidence to the table.

When we are clear on what we value and who we want to be, our confidence grows. It's not because we're loud but because we know we belong at the table of life. It brought me back to that comment about Amelia. She may be showing her confidence not in the way of shouting or being first but by observing, listening, and talking things through.

The Knowledge of Confidence

Kids already know this truth. It's us who struggle with it as we grow.

The Silent Performance of Confidence: Values

A beautiful client of mine faced an internal battle recently. She wanted to walk the dog each evening to feel more active and confident. However, when the time came, exhaustion would take over, and guilt crept in.

I asked her one simple question:

"Which value is being triggered either positively or negatively right now?"

Because she had made an effort to do the reflective work, she answered immediately. It wasn’t about the walk or exercise but about Connection. She valued family time, and taking the walk alone felt like abandoning that.

So, she had a choice:

• Stay home and be present with her family, confident in serving her value, and let go of the guilt.

• Or ask if they wanted to join her on the walk, turning it into a shared experience.

  
  

It was a simple shift. But it moved her mindset from internal conflict to confident decision-making. We can either participate in the tug-of-war or pause, reflect, and choose. Once the choice is clear, we can be present in it and confident in it. We can also love ourselves a little more each time we honor our values.

That is the silent beauty of confidence. You may not always see it, but you feel it.

Confidence In Knowing Yourself

How does confidence appear when you truly know yourself? And more importantly...

How the hell do you get to know yourself? It’s the big question I've asked myself countless times.

In my experience, knowing yourself comes from doing what you wouldn’t normally do. This doesn’t mean skydiving off cliffs (though if that's your thing, go for it), but listening to those small, persistent nudges that echo at 3 a.m. The ones that whisper at 5 a.m. when you first wake up:

Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Move your body.

Those battles can be annoying. But I've learned that when I listen, when I get up and move, I feel clearer, stronger, and capable of taking on the world. That's confidence—confidence in knowing what serves you.

Sometimes, confidence also means knowing when to change course. This weekend, I had one of those moments. I was dressed in gym gear, ready to leave, when I heard Amelia crying upstairs.

My first instinct? Sneak out. (Don’t judge me.)

My second instinct? Pause.

Which value is pulling me? For me, it was Connection. So, I went upstairs to check on her and give her a little cuddle, knowing I would have to face the choice:

• Go to the gym without guilt.

• Stay home without resentment.

  
  

I chose to stay, not out of guilt and not so I could throw it back at Jorge later about the "sacrifice." (And let's be honest, we've all done that.) I stayed because it mattered, and I wanted to be there with her. It was beautiful. We played, we laughed, and I felt peace instead of frustration.

That’s confidence too: Loving yourself for the choices you make.

Showing Up In Confidence

Sometimes, confidence is simply showing up. Not waiting until you feel ready. Not waiting until you feel perfect.

This week, I registered for a Women in Business conference. I hovered over the "pay now" button for what felt like an hour.

What if I'm not good enough?

What if they think I'm crazy?

What if they don’t like me?

The hum of doubt was deafening. Eventually, I clicked pay. I put on my lipstick and showed up. Was I still nervous? Absolutely. Did I speak perfectly? Nope. Did I feel awkward? Yes.

But by showing up and choosing to be there, something shifted. A small spark of confidence grew stronger. In simply showing up, we build ourselves even when we feel torn. Confidence continues to grow, not just gifted once.

Three Lessons in Confidence

So, there you have it: my three very real lessons in confidence.

• The silent performance through values.

• The knowledge through action.

• The choice to show up.

  
  

Have I got it all together? No. Do I walk around radiating confidence like a shiny bulb for all to see? Definitely not. But I see her; she is part of me, learning and growing daily. I have clarity on how she shows up, and I support and guide her, gently and firmly, along the way.

My greatest gift to myself isn’t to be the loudest in the room; it’s to be clear on who I want to be and to have the courage to show her to the world.

Where does confidence quietly live inside you right now?

I'd love to hear your story.

Until next week,

Vikki

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