How NLP Helped Me Find the Human Under the Hustle

I was talking with Vikki about a topic I would cover, and she challenged me to share my personal NLP story. My journey. Not one I share with people, actually. But it is probably about time people understand why I’m running a coaching business focused on NLP. So here goes…

I was a pragmatist at heart, the kind of person who got things done and didn't stop until the job was finished. On paper, it sounded great: dependable, calm, organised, and consistent. The light side of those traits was stability and reliability. The shadow side told a different story. Beneath the calm was anxiety. Beneath the order, control. I was risk-averse, overloaded, and, truth be told, a bit of a people pleaser.

I believed in personal development and emotional intelligence, but only the "clean" kind, the tidy, optimistic version that didn't rock the boat or ask too many questions. What I hadn't realised back then was that real growth is rarely neat. It's unpredictable, uncomfortable, and often messy. It doesn't just ask you to think differently; it asks you to feel differently.

Success for me was defined by stoicism and strength, by being the dependable one, the steady hand, the person who never wavered. These labels and badges looked good on the outside. Still, inside, they felt like a very tightly pulled elastic band that, under continuous, relentless tension, would inevitably snap.

People often ask what my turning point was, the exact moment that changed everything. The truth is, it didn't happen all at once. It was a slow, steady tightening that grew into something I could no longer ignore. But if I had to pinpoint when I started to see things differently, it began with the birth of my daughter.

Everyone tells you that becoming a parent changes you. And while my life changed overnight, I didn't. I slipped straight back into my old habits: work first, family second, myself somewhere far behind. I told myself I was being a provider, that I was doing what a good man should do. But deep down, I knew I was missing out on the very moments I was working so hard to protect.

The real turning point wasn't one big explosion. It was a series of small, painful realisations, missed bedtimes, skipped cuddles. This growing distance sat as an ache just behind my eyes (tension headaches, some people call them). The moment that the elastic band gave way was the night I couldn't settle my daughter to sleep and had to call my wife home to do it. Standing there, helpless, I realised I wasn't leading my family. I was managing my life like a checklist. That was the snap that let the truth in. Something had to change.

This was around the time of the pandemic, when everything already felt fragile, uneasy, and uncertain. My wife, Vikki, was navigating new motherhood while questioning her own sense of purpose. Life was messy. We were both trying to hold it all together. I finally called it enough. Enough chasing a version of success that didn't make sense anymore. Enough letting work consume everything.

The truth is, I don't blame the job (at least I don't anymore). I blame my inability to draw the line. I'd never learned that boundaries aren't given to you; you have to build them yourself. People will take as much as you're willing to give, and I was giving everything.

Around that time, Vikki began to rediscover what lit her up. She loved training (teaching is in her blood), but what really moved her was helping people understand themselves, their mindset, their motivation, the stories that drive their behaviour. She began studying NLP, psychology, and human behaviour. I had a front row seat to her transformation, and it was inspiring.

As I helped her build what would become our business, Momentum Growth Coaching, I found myself drawn into her world. I started reading the material, half curious, half sceptical. "Neuro Linguistic Programming" sounded like something out of a science fiction film. But as I read, something clicked. NLP wasn't about controlling people or manipulating outcomes. It was about awareness, learning to see your patterns and choosing how to respond. The neuroscience of it appealed to me, but the human impact moved me.

Eventually, I realised that if I was going to help run a coaching business, I should probably experience the work for myself. So I signed up for NLP Practitioner Certification. Early in the training, I was asked to be the demonstration client for an exercise called Parts Integration, a process that brings together two conflicting beliefs so they can exist in harmony. My two parts were simple but deeply ingrained: the need to be a provider and the need to be present for my family.

Somewhere along the way, I'd learned that you couldn't be both, that providing meant sacrificing presence, that success came with distance and family sacrifice. Under the guidance of the brilliant Sonya Furlong, that belief began to unravel. Slowly, gently, something shifted. For the first time, I felt both parts of myself align, the provider and the parent, standing side by side instead of in opposition. It felt like a pressure valve releasing after years of being sealed tight. I teared up, completely unprepared for the wave of relief that followed.

From that day, I was all in. I began using NLP everywhere I could, at work, in conversations, even in the way I spoke to myself. Reframing became a daily practice. "How can I see this differently, in a way that serves me better?" became my quiet mantra. NLP isn't about pretending everything is fine. It's about awareness and choice, catching yourself in the loop before it takes hold and choosing a better way through.

Since then, NLP has helped me see myself as human again. Not a robot. Not a machine for getting things done. Just a person learning how to notice who he is, not just what he's doing. It's given me the power to pause, to observe myself without judgment (this is a hard one), and to consciously decide what comes next.

I'm calmer now. More grounded. More connected. I'm a better husband, a better dad, and a better friend. I still like making people happy, but not at my own expense. I've learned to tell the difference between what I need and what I want, and to build a life that honours both.

Today, I live with greater clarity and confidence in who I am, what my values are, and the beliefs or rules I set to live my values. Ambition and purpose can coexist, providing and presence, and so can strength and vulnerability. That's been one of the greatest lessons of all.

You might be reading this thinking, "Well, good for you, Jorge." And you'd be right, it was good for me. But it wasn't easy. Growth never is. It's uncomfortable, confusing, confronting, and, at times, lonely. But if you can sit with that discomfort and allow yourself to learn from it, that's where the real change begins.

For me, NLP isn't about perfection or positivity. It's about permission to grow, to choose, to live with purpose and freedom. That's why I'm so passionate about advocating for it. Because if it can help someone like me, a pragmatist who once thought he had to keep it all together, then maybe it can help you too.

If my story resonates, you can explore how accredited NLP training can reshape how you think, lead, and live.

Learn more about Group NLP Certification at Momentum Growth Coaching

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In this blog, I've shared just a glimpse of a few NLP concepts and techniques. If this sparks your curiosity and you'd like to explore more, or even consider becoming an NLP Practitioner yourself, we'd be delighted to welcome you to our in-person NLP certification training. Our next sessions are scheduled to run in Sydney in November and December 2025.

Click here to learn more about our NLP Certification Training and secure your place.

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